One Small Irken…… Will Be The Doom of Us All
by Devil of the Ice
Summary: Keef has returned, The Resisty have a plan, Sizz lorr wants his employee back and the Tallest are oblivious to the danger they will soon be in.
1. Hail, Plans and Dumb Ideas

One Small Irken…… Will Be The Doom of Us All.

By Devil of the Ice

Chapter One: Hail, Plans and Dumb Ideas

-

Sizz Lorr Growled as he put the space ship into hyper drive. Once Zim was recaptured, he would redefine the word 'pain'. The next foodening wouldn't begin for a few more years, but he was going to get his vacation this time. He was going to find Zim.

Throwing the ship into gear, the ship took off for the milky way.

-

"And then, by using this stuffed bunny, it will clog the machinery, activating the device to spread killer nanobots throughout the planet." Zim smiled smugly while holding a fluffy, fat bunny in one hand, which was _very _much alive.

The Tallest just stared disbelievingly at him before going back to eating cupcakes. They ended the transmission without a second thought.

"Do you think it will work?" Purple asked Red.

"Nope."

-

"The Tallest seemed rather impressed about my newest plan to conquer this dirt ball!" Zim said leaning back into his chair.

"No they didn't." Gir butted in.

"SILENCE!"

"It's raining guppies!" Gir randomly shouted. "Oink, Oink, Oink!"

"Huh?" Zims antenna perked.

Listening carefully, he heard tiny thumping sounds. It _did _sound like little guppies falling on the roof.

"Wait here, Gir. I'm going to go see was going on."

As soon as he reached the living room, the thumping had gotten louder. He stopped as soon as he caught sight of the window.

Small white balls were falling from the sky. It seemingly defied all laws of physics.

"W-what is this?" Slowly moving closer to the window, Zim looked outside. "It looks kind of like snow…"

"Computer. Analyze this."

"It's Hail." The computer answered tiredly. "You know, like snow? Only harder and not as pretty. It's just frozen rain."

"This planet is so weeeiiird. Why does it do that?"

"Insufficient data."

"I suppose this burns me as well?"

"Well…" The computer interjected. "It _is _water based."

"Darn it! These 'Rain Rocks' could interfere with my newest plan!"

"… It's called 'Hail'…"

"Shut up. Something must be done!"

"Yeah." The computer let out a long sigh. "Or you could wait until it stops."

"Nonsense! I'm sure I could find a faster, easier way to stop it. After all, I am an Irken Invader."

-

"Yes, your safe now… Oh, but just you wait. I will soon have enough evidence to convince the world of your secret. Then who will be laughing, Zim?!?"

Dib sat at his desk, writing on a piece of lined paper.

"Let's see…" Holding a diagram of a crudely drawn Irken, Dib went over what he knew.

1: Irken Antenna are highly sensitive, capable of sensing a vibration from thirty feet away. Found that out the hard way.

2: Irken Eye's are resistant to intense light. Strangely, they seem attracted to powder blue lights. Note: Look into idea of giant, powder blue Bug Zapper.

3: Irken blood is blue. Is there a connection between their blood and their attraction to blue light? Is it possible that Zim is the only one attracted to blue light? Need more test subjects to find out for sure.

4: Zims eating habits is akin to that of an Ant as well as his behavior, although his looks peg him as more of a cricket. Note: Find out if Zim chirps.

5: If Zim is a bug-like creature, why doesn't he have an exoskeleton? On close inspection, Zims 'skin' is actually tiny scales pact together. Irken Insect/Reptile hybrid? Or Insect/Fish hybrid? Maybe neither?

6: Weaknesses: Water and germs. Stupidity and incompetence in Zims case…

"Maybe I'll get more information when I catch and dissect Zim."

Laying his scythe crested head on the desk, Dib went to sleep. The future would yield more answers.

-

Lard Narr stared at the piece of paper. It was in the middle of the circular room on a metal desk, nothing too unusual about that. He was nervous about reading it and for good reason. A crazed Vortian had opened up a time portal in the middle of his ship and flung a paper airplane at him, then dashed back into the spinning hole cackling madly.

So there was a couple of reasons he was nervous about it.

"This could _be _the answer!" Narr argued with himself. "The answer to the Irken empires downfall! But… I'm scared. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!"

After calming down from the outburst he took a few steps forward and poked the paper with a stick. Nothing happened. So he poked it again. After a few minutes of poking and nothing happening, he decided to read it.

Walking to it like it was a chicken waiting to spring from the dead, Narr carefully undid its plane formation until it was flat with only a few creases.

"This!!" He yelled. "This is it! What we've needed all along!"

Holding the paper up in one hand, he screeched: "A PLAN!!!!!"

-

End of Chapter one.


	2. Keef

One Small Irken…… Will Be The Doom of Us All.

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing'.

By Devil of the Ice

Chapter Two: Keef

-

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"Your going to move the planet into the sun?!" The Computer asked bewildered.

"Correct!" Zim beamed smugly.

The computer didn't say anything for a long time after that. A really, really long time. All of two seconds.

"WHAT?!?!"

"Ingenious I know. I shall get to work on the super engines tomorrow and- "

"It stopped."

"Huh?"

"It stopped."

"What stopped?" Zim lifted an antenna in confusion.

"The hail! It stopped."

"Oh."

It's possible that this was the only computer in the universe to ever pray to a god.

-

"Can you believe it? CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?"

One might say Lard Narr was overjoyed.

Narr pranced around like a goat, waving the piece of paper in the air. It made most of the Resisty crew members wonder if he was going to eat it.

"Quick! We must prepare. We haven't got much time, this needs to be put into action before the Irkens catch wind of it."

One of the pilots put the ship into full drive, blasting past planets, stars and through one badly placed fast food sign.

Sitting in his little movable chair thingy, the leader of the Resisty sat back and relaxed. With a hopefully well thought out plan and a huge advantage over the Irken Empire, he had nothing but giant space mosquitoes crashing into the windshield to worry about.

Splat!

-

"He's up to something, I just know it, Gaz!!"

Dib paced around the kitchen while his sister sat seething at the table. Punching the buttons on her Gameslave harder then usual, she did her best to ignore her brother. But he just _wouldn't_ shut up.

Sitting beside the window with a pair of super-far-seeing binoculars, Dib intently watched the odd green house that harbored the alien.

"Who knows what kind of evil scheme he's up too!"

Gaz was about to turn around and shove her empty poop cola somewhere painful, but something in the news paper caught her eye. Picking it up, she read the article.

**St. Bernard Hospital **

**By Ima Goinaripmypants**

_**Keef, the little boy who exploded last week at McMeaties, is finally getting out of the hospital today. Though doctors have yet to find a cause for the explosion, most are blaming the cows, he is deemed safe to the public-**_

The last time Keef had bugged Dib, her brother had been to busy to annoy her for almost two days. And what a two days they were… It could work again, couldn't it?

Smiling, she left her oblivious brother behind and went to look for the phone book. Even if it didn't work out as planned, she could probably still get a chuckle or two out of it.

-

Two hours later.

"Gaz?"

Having just noticed his sister was gone, he wasn't sure what to do. Maybe he'd go spy on Zim some more until Mysterious Mysteries was on. He couldn't see much from here, even with his super-far-seeing binoculars, anyway.

Picking up his bag, he made his way down the stairs. Just as he reached the last step, however, he was confronted with his devil/sister, Gaz.

"Hey, Gaz!" He replied cheerily.

His sister just stood there with a creepy grin on her face. After a few minutes of silence she spoke.

"There's someone here to see you, _Dib…_"

"Uh… Ok, … Gaz…"

Gaz pointed to the living room. Dibs gaze followed a little unsure.

"It's not Zim, is it?"

He didn't receive an answer, as a hole in the floor opened up and his sibling slowly floated down into it. Walking over to the living room, Dib turned on the lights.

"**Bbbbuuuuudddddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyy**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Before Dib could even react, Keef hugged him so tightly, his eye's were about to burst out of their sockets.

"Let's go see Zim, buddy! Won't he be surprised!?!"

-


End file.
